Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs; Quite courteous (that's what they think, at least!). They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi). Saar, what da??? The plebeian Madarasi (chennaisi...now huh?) is an ardent fan of kireeket matches. Their counterparts in Mumbai think they live in America but speak Hinglish like..."are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai or I'll go akela!" And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar. Hypocrites? ahem, probably the best in the world.
Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have simble neighbors in the Keralites who are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them!) but they have excellent GK, eat a lot of chooclyte, own 99.998765% of tyre shops in the world and form 99% of nursing community.
Trudging behind the kerals is the Telugu Desam, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu (pleet). Worustu, no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu! Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu ...)
The Canadians (err, excuse me), the Kannadigas aor (are) the coolest lat dobun south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Damn! Cauvery crusade! Talking of the great Rajkumar, if a fly sat on his nose, they would burn the entire city of Bengaluroo to kill the fly! Dishoom! To hell with Silicon valley! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu, filamu are some of their favourites.
Maharashtrians are a conservative, rather confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar? that's because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar...so on, so forth. Take your pick. Confused? that's because sitting pretty in the southern part of India, they would ask the other person "err, are you from Maharashtra or from south India?" and genuinely wonder as to why the other person takes time to answer the question! They like the principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (God only knows where that came from!). Though soft natured, peace loving people but they elect the Shivsena to rule them. Phew!
And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past time is eating snakes (snacks!) like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They gobble down palak sev as if their life solely depends on it and believe in the brotherhood and sisterhood of man and woman (everybody is either a bhai or a ben!!!).
Stray further eesht and you meet the Oriyas in the land uf Udissa - the land of irron ('r' unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you B or Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero, sebhen. LOL.
Bong Bong Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (WTF?! I know a director by the name Satyajit Ray who was quite a prolific genius). A friend of yours spots you and yells "ki Boka*****" or an unknown bystander greets you with a cacophonic "Dada" (I use to habe a friend by name, Dada. Still wonder...what his name was!) Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, though!
Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe?!). How we wish they grew up the same way. But Biharees are bery phond of Laloo and Patna. "Kaa babua, isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai ?! SPIT. SPIT.
UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and studying metals to make lots of ishteel. Loads of it!
Punjabis are the cherubic sorts but aggressive, mind you! I was asked, "Oye, Rotti ShottiKhayega?" I replied "No". Pat came the reply "Tage itu, yaar!" By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?! Then of course, everybody's a paappe or a kaakke. That my friend is Punjab for you.
Kashmiris are a peaceful lot living in the valley of diverse cultural imprints (Kashmir called Cashmir by many. May be because of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India?!) I know Roja (or Roza?) was shot (C'mon, I mean filmed!) somewhere nearby.
But at the end of the day, wherever you are on this planet...whether it is in Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham,UK; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road, Singapore...nudge yourself and ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer- "INDIANS".
[From the mail archives]
Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have simble neighbors in the Keralites who are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the middle east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them!) but they have excellent GK, eat a lot of chooclyte, own 99.998765% of tyre shops in the world and form 99% of nursing community.
Trudging behind the kerals is the Telugu Desam, who are totally againesht flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu (pleet). Worustu, no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu! Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu ...)
The Canadians (err, excuse me), the Kannadigas aor (are) the coolest lat dobun south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Damn! Cauvery crusade! Talking of the great Rajkumar, if a fly sat on his nose, they would burn the entire city of Bengaluroo to kill the fly! Dishoom! To hell with Silicon valley! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu, filamu are some of their favourites.
Maharashtrians are a conservative, rather confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar? that's because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar...so on, so forth. Take your pick. Confused? that's because sitting pretty in the southern part of India, they would ask the other person "err, are you from Maharashtra or from south India?" and genuinely wonder as to why the other person takes time to answer the question! They like the principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay (God only knows where that came from!). Though soft natured, peace loving people but they elect the Shivsena to rule them. Phew!
And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past time is eating snakes (snacks!) like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They gobble down palak sev as if their life solely depends on it and believe in the brotherhood and sisterhood of man and woman (everybody is either a bhai or a ben!!!).
Stray further eesht and you meet the Oriyas in the land uf Udissa - the land of irron ('r' unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you B or Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero, sebhen. LOL.
Bong Bong Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (WTF?! I know a director by the name Satyajit Ray who was quite a prolific genius). A friend of yours spots you and yells "ki Boka*****" or an unknown bystander greets you with a cacophonic "Dada" (I use to habe a friend by name, Dada. Still wonder...what his name was!) Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, though!
Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the universe?!). How we wish they grew up the same way. But Biharees are bery phond of Laloo and Patna. "Kaa babua, isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai ?! SPIT. SPIT.
UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and studying metals to make lots of ishteel. Loads of it!
Punjabis are the cherubic sorts but aggressive, mind you! I was asked, "Oye, Rotti ShottiKhayega?" I replied "No". Pat came the reply "Tage itu, yaar!" By Godu! Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?! Then of course, everybody's a paappe or a kaakke. That my friend is Punjab for you.
Kashmiris are a peaceful lot living in the valley of diverse cultural imprints (Kashmir called Cashmir by many. May be because of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India?!) I know Roja (or Roza?) was shot (C'mon, I mean filmed!) somewhere nearby.
But at the end of the day, wherever you are on this planet...whether it is in Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham,UK; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road, Singapore...nudge yourself and ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer- "INDIANS".
[From the mail archives]
3 comments:
heyaa
lolzz
had fun readin it
btw u missed out on the north-east
cheers
:-) ... looks real good now !..
Hilarious.
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